#433 Accidents Are Unavoidable, Gun Deaths Aren't Accidents

Police: Woman allegedly kills herself with gun bought to prepare for Ferguson unrest by "accident" because her boyfriend swerved and rear-ended another car after she started waving the gun around in the car (he was worried she was going to shoot him by "accident") and Becca Campbell, 26, inexplicably had her finger on the damned trigger and it was loaded while they were driving home from the gun shop. Yes, that's totally an accident except there are so many places it was just dumb negligence and being irresponsible with a deadly weapon.

Basic IQ tests really aren't too damned much to ask when someone is going to go walking around with something capable of killing instantly. No, this woman did not die instantly, she got to get taken to the hospital and die there. Don't call this a damned accident.

Or maybe it isn't even about being stupid, maybe it's about being too cavalier with a deadly weapon. Did this woman routinely juggle knives?

How can you not take a gun seriously? And I know she didn't take it seriously because she had her idiot finger on the trigger of her new gun when she killed her idiot self with it. Guns DO NOT FIRE unless the trigger is pulled no matter what you have seen in movies. Her own idiot self is the reason she's dead now. A gun is a deadly implement, that's why she bought it, to protect herself from the pending mad riots in Ferguson after Office Shitbag, I mean, Darren Wilson gets acquitted for murdering an unarmed black kid.

Which was also not an accident, that was a cop murder followed up by a cop cover up and then cop over-militarized response. Darren Wilson should be found guilty of murder or manslaughter and be sent to prison, anything less and Ferguson is going to get real, real ugly. Just ask the already deployed National Guard and whatever number of FBI agents in town. None of the deaths are going to be accidents there either.

Rule #433 is Accidents Are Unavoidable, Gun Deaths Aren't Accidents

#428 Death by Selfie Ruled An Idioticide

Dumbass kills himself while posing with his buddy's gun for a selfie.

Note, his hand is not the gun that killed him.

Oscar Otero Aquilar "accidentally" discharged a gun he was holding into his head while trying to take an "I'm a tough guy" selfie with which to woo the ladies.

Here's the thing these Darwin Inductees never get before its too late. A gun is a tool, it is nearly inert and can be used as a hammer if you keep your finger off the trigger. I don't recommened it but you can.

The ONLY way 99.999% of guns will fire is by pulling the trigger.
The ONLY way this moron dies is by his own stupidity (and his buddy who handed him a loaded, with a round in the chamber and safety off .45 to pose with).
The ONLY way this idiot dies is by pointing the gun at himself and pulling the trigger. This is an idioticide.

You treat a gun like a toy and it'll come back and demonstrate why it is not. Oscar didn't learn anything, maybe his friends did? Hard to say since one is going to prison and the other ran and hid and is still hiding.

Treat a gun like what it is, a dealer in high velocity death. Handle a gun properly and they are as safe as a hammer. Mishandle them and die or get maimed or maim a friend. How do people still not get this?

Rule #428 is Death by Selfie Ruled an Idioticide

#413 Do You WANT To Be a Darwin Award Hall of Famer?

Drunk Texan kills himself while playing with gun in a parking showing off. This now even more empty headed idiot put his revolver to his head and pulled the trigger four times. He did it one more and that's where the bullet was that killed him.

How many people have died this year from gunshot wounds of guns they were sure were empty? How many more have been injured and need medical treatment? How many needed medical treatment and didn't get it because they knew they'd get charged with a crime for being such negligent dipshits with deadly weapons.

As it is, I'm glad this moron's moronic DNA is out of the gene pool. I hope he removed himself from the gene pool before he could pollute it with his stupidity.

Rule #413 is Do You WANT To Be a Darwin Award Hall of Famer?

#408 Just Because It Has a Penis Sized Hole...

...doesn't mean you should try to fuck it.

Man Dies After Having Sex with Hornet's Nest

Call me for sexy times! 1 888 STINGER

A man only known as Hasse was found naked, unconscious and swollen to the point his neighbor first though he was a beached whale on his front yard. He had, apparently been putting the sexy times to a hornet's nest.

Among the many things I would not wish to expose my penis to, angry flying insects like hornets, wasps and other winged hate is very high on that list.

Notably, Hasse did end up going out like a boss despite his idiotic means. He not only set out to fuck a hornet's nest, he did fuck a hornet's nest and actually came. Yes. And then the hornet's went insane on his please-do-not-have-reproduced ass and penis and body. He was stung 54 times in the genitals alone.

Let that sink in for a moment. One sting in the balls is all but unthinkable. Two would probably require counseling. Three would almost certainly make the Hulk cry for mercy. Hasse took 54 hornet stings to the goonies. One hundred and forty six stings in total resulting in massive anaphylactic shock, death and instant internet immortality.

And deservedly so. I think this should give rise to a new cautionary phrase, "Nobody fucks a hornet's nest and lives to tell about it."

I would hereby like to nominate Hasse to the Darwin Awards Hall of Fame.

Rule #408 is Just Because It Has a Penis Sized Hole...

Update: Unfortunately (or fortunately for my faith in humanity) the story is not true as I could have deduced easily by reading the linked article more carefully. I'm glad that no man is dumb enough or drunk enough to look at a hornet's nest and get horny.

But the general rule still applies, just because something has a penis size hole in it doesn't mean you should shove your penis into it.

#394 Don't Lose Your Head

Teen pops head out of bus, hits NJ overpass, dies after being told at least three times by the guy on the bus to not mess with it.

 Sorry kid, you just made it into the finals of the Darwin Awards by finding a great way to off yourself in a likely gruesome and horrifying way in front of your friends who probably cheered you on right up until the minute your skull was crushed by the overpass.

 Rule #394 is Don't Lose Your Head