#447 Do Not Chase Children with a Baseball Bat Threatening to Hang Them

Lisa Marie Elberson is an angry, violent racist bitch.

Cops: Woman arrested after chasing kids with baseball bat, screaming racial slurs

This is one of those rules that seems like it shouldn't need to be written out so explicitly but leave it to good ol' Florida Woman to prove me wrong.

Lisa Marie Elberson took umbrage (though I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what the word means) when a group of teenage boys got into a beef with her husband near their house. When they came by again, and said something, the "lovely" Mrs Elberson grabbed a bat and chased them while screaming racist epithets.

"One of the teens recorded the incident and showed it to authorities. At one point in the video, she stated to a teen "I hang your family from my tree" and used a racial slur, the incident report said."

Of course, there are comments on the story that excuse her vile behavior, there are always going to be assholes making apologies for other assholes. It is one way to figure out who the assholes are.

Elberson faces charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, child abuse and simple battery. She is being held in Lake County Jail on $5,000 bond.

Rule #447 is Not Chase Children with a Baseball Bat Threatening to Hang Them

#420 Assault With a Marijuana Plant is Just Silly

Yep, that's a weed assaulter's smirk.

Deputies say Lakeland man attacked his brother with marijuana plants

Among all of the superheroes I know of in the world today, Florida Man is the most bizarre. Florida Man does all kinds of crazy shit and I'm not quite sure how it relates to fighting crime but one thing I do know is that there is no stopping Florida Man!

Two brothers were arguing in their yard, it got physical and Rodney grabbed the nearest thing he could and used it to beat his brother. Nearest thing he could lay hands on? Pot plants. He yanked them up and used them to hit his brother.

I'm guessing his pillow was too far away.

Of course, when the cops came, they realized what idiots these guys are, searched the house and found drug paraphernalia and hauled Rodney off to the pokey for an overnight and more.

Here's a thought, if you don't live in a state where growing marijuana is legal then maybe consider not drawing attention to your cultivation, eh?

Rule #420 is Assault With a Marijuana Plant is Just Silly