#376 Live by the Sword, Die by the Gun

"Victim" kills teen robber on trail, police say

Doesn't sound to me like the old man on his bike was a victim. He might have been one previously and that's what convinced him to carry a gun. Without that gun, those three boys would have robbed him and probably beat him up and maybe worse. With that gun, he shot and killed one 15 year old boy, shot and wounded another and the third has been arrested.

The charges against the man for shooting a killing a teenage boy? None. Justifiable homicide or some such.

And you know what? I don't feel a mote of sympathy for that kid or his family. They were raising an ugly little thug who picked the wrong guy to try and victimize.

Rule #376 is Live by the Sword, Die by the Gun

#375 Don't Send A Bill for a Forcible Body Cavity Search

Bend Over

A woman, who wasnt named by local media, has sued the Las Cruces, New Mexico police department for $1,222. That's how much she was charged by an area hospital for a forcible body cavity search ordered by the police. The search found no narcotics.

Okay, first off, it's just plain rude to send someone a bill for having had their body held down and forcibly searched. Think about what that means. That means some strange person putting their hand in your rectum. In the case of this woman, it also included a strange person putting their hand inside her vagina.

And she only sued for $1222, the same amount she was billed. I'd have tacked on some pain and suffering damages.

Of course, if she did have some hooch in her cooch then they would have been totally justified in their actions. Well, legally justified at least.

The worst part about stories like this for me is how utterly dehumanizing they are. And then the insult to injury to actually have the gall to try and make her pay for having been violated without cause? Yuck. Just makes me want to go live in a cabin on top of a big mountain.

Rule #375 is Don't Send A Bill for a Forcible Body Cavity Search

#374 Don't Steal a Bike When You Can Save a Life

'Cowardly' thief saw drowning man and stole his bicycle

This pathetic pile of shit named Adam Lowther was riding his crappy bike near Leeds-Liverpool and came upon an accident in which a bike was close to the path and a man was face down in the water nearby.

Instead of doing what any reasonable person would do, check on the man to see if he was hurt/alive, Adam dropped his bike, picked up the injured man's bike and rode off.

And Michael Houghton, who was alive at the time, was found a few minutes later by non-scumbag assholes who tried to revive him and got him to the hospital where he later died.

Michael is a father to three kids with a disabled wife. Sorry, he was. Now he's dead because Adam Lowther valued his bicycle more than his life.

Adam could have been a hero but now he's a vile what not to do role model.

Rule #374 is Don't Steal a Bike When You Can Save a Life

#373 There But for the Grace of Fortune Go Thee

Not homeless people. Yet.

Note, these are not homeless people, at least not yet, they are or were employees at the most aggressive foreclosure company in New York. They are dressed this way as some asshole thought a Homeless Halloween Party was a good idea. And someone else thought it was a good idea to get some good pictures of these disgusting jerks. Some similarly appalled person at the party forwarded the photos to the press and things got rather interesting for these distasteful party goers.

Well, it was with great pleasure that I read that Steven J. Baum's law firm is going belly up. Suck karmic teats, you haters! Awful Homelessness-Mocking Foreclosure Firm Closes

The oddest part is that the firm's principal, none other than Steven J. Baum himself, blames a columnist for having destroyed his company and putting people out on those very same streets with the very same people his ex-employees mocked so hideously. I'm sure Steven J. Baum is not going to be homeless anytime soon but there is a distinct tang of a karmic smackdown in the air, isn't there?

Rule #373 is There But for the Grace of Fortune Go Thee

#372 Acting from a Place of Anger Can Backfire Badly on You

Coach Jerkface gets his JERK on.

Wyoming coach resigns after forcing offensive survey on players 

Coach Pat Lynch thinks the best way to motivate his high school football team is to compare them to women and gay people. He forced his team to fill out a survey that would allow each player to mark why they failed to play well. Responses included: Because I'm a little bitch, Because I have woman like hormones, Because I am queer.

This guy forced some high school kids to fill out this survey in the twisted hopes that it would motivate them to play better. Or perhaps just not suck as much as they did and make Coach Jerkface look like a bigger jerkface than he already does (which is a pretty HUGE jerkface).


To say what he did was inappropriate is an understatement. But, for some ridiculous and twisted reason, Pat Lynch remains at the school as a....brace yourself.... guidance counselor. What kind of wrong headed thinking allows this guy to keep a job around kids when he has shown such incredibly poor judgment already? What kind of crappy advice is he giving to any kid that meets with him? "Don't be such a bitch" "Maybe you can ask your doctor for some man hormones to off set all those woman like hormones you appear to have in you."


Really? This guy shouldn't be advising cockroaches on how to skitter much less teenagers. Doubly so because he seems to have a pretty hateful streak towards gay people and a tenous grasp on not flying off the handle like the douchenozzle you are.

This rule will be a hard one for ol' Pat Lynch to avoid breaking since he appears to act from a place of anger more often than not.


Rule #372 is Acting from a Place of Anger Can Backfire Badly on You

#371 Do Not Gird for War on Your Own People Without Strong Cause (and you didn't have it in Oakland, Mayor Jean Quan)

American. Marine. Hero. Victim.

So the whole world has now seen what an insane and over-reacting idiot Oakland Mayor Jean Quan is by sending in officers in full riot gear to break up an Occupy Wall Street protest in Oakland. The protesters were peaceful, the protest was organized and yet the cops came in like stormtroopers, firing tear gas, flash bang grenades, rubber bullets and behaving like the protesters were rioting and looting when they very, very clearly were not.

And, as a result of the extreme police over-reaction, an American hero got his skull fractured by some projectile fired into the crowd. This young man, Scott Olsen, is a two time Iraq tour Marine veteran and a hero. He was there exercising his CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to peaceful assembly when he was violently and wantonly assaulted along with the others.

Scott, along with thousands and thousands of other Americans tired of the corporatization of America and the wholesale raiding of our finances by those same companies entrusted with caretaking them, took BART out to Oakland to lend support there for the Occupy Wall Street protests.

After he was hit in the head with the tear gas grenade, other protesters tried to provide assistance to a clearly injured man when the police apparently tossed another grenade and fired some rubber bullets at those helping this man who had been seriously injured.

In other words, the police assaulted this man and then continued to assault people trying to help him. The police amped up the protest and nearly turned it into a full on riot by their attire, demeanor and actions. The protests, in no way, called for a full riot response from the police.

And I will join in the chorus of voices calling for Jean Quan's resignation for her shockingly poor handling of this pivotal moment in American and World History. She has chosen her side, she is not one of the 99%, she has chosen to join the 1% and be on the wrong side. She is not fit to lead.

Rule #371 is Do Not Gird for War on Your Own People Without Strong Cause (and you didn't have it in Oakland, Mayor Jean Quan)

#370 Drug Dealers: Please DO Put Up Drugs for Sale Fliers, You Morons

Not pillars of the community. Hey, is that Willie?

Officers raid home after 'Heroin for sale' sign given to police

PORTLAND, OR (KPTV) -A north Portland home was raided by police after a fed-up neighbor sent officers a flier that said "Heroin for sale" and gave the home's address.

It has been said that you'd have to be some kind of an idiot to do heroin. I know this because I'm one of the people that has said it. Any drug that requires you to jab yourself with a needle is no drug I have even the slightest interest in ever doing. Fuck that noise.

That said, these drug dealing morons put up fliers around the neighborhood advertising that you could get heroin at their house and included the address! Yeah. Which is to say, these dealers have quite obviously been "getting high off their own supply".

But I can't say I'm bummed, one more drug den shut down, another neighborhood being reclaimed and some hard core drug addicts removed from circulation.

Rule #370 is Drug Dealers: Please DO Put Up Drugs for Sale Fliers, You Morons

#369 Cross Your T's and Dot Your I's

Man found with pounds of pot

WATSONVILLE - A 28-year-old man was arrested Saturday evening near Riverside Drive and Lincoln Street after police smelled a strong scent of marijuana coming from his vehicle during a traffic stop, police records show.
Virakbot Oung was booked on suspicion of drug sales after officers found 2.5 pounds of marijuana in his vehicle, police records show.
Oung was stopped for a tail light violation about 6:40 p.m., police reported.

Now, I'm all for stupid criminals getting busted for being stupid. And Virakbot Oung qualifies as a stupid criminal. Here's the thing, brainiacs. If you are transporting a load of drugs or other illegal stuff in your car then take a few minutes to make sure you aren't a rolling violation. That is, check your lights, make sure your car is in legal working order before you set off.

If ol' Virakbot had replaced that 89 cent tail light bulb then he wouldn't have been pulled over and busted. Now he's not only facing jail time for trafficking, he's also got one pissed off dealer who probably thinks Virakbot now owes him the value of that lost weed. Which is a whole other set of problems he'll get to deal with.

Or you risk getting arrested with 2.5 pounds of weed which is just a hair or two over the "personal use" limit.

Rule #369 is Cross Your T's and Dot Your I's

Note, I am aware that the link to the original story is no longer working. I searched the Sentinel's archives and then realized that they haven't been added to since 2008. Which is to say, the Santa Cruz Sentinel may be the lamest hometown newspaper ever. We deserve better than this pathetic rag.

#368 Petty Crime Carries Not So Petty Time

Two arrested in Watsonville gas station, restaurant robberies

These two idiot kids (I can say that now because I'm no longer an idiot kid, I'm an idiot adult) robbed a Jack in the Box and a gas station with a revolver and then wrecked the stolen Audi they'd been driving around in.

All for a whopping $150 in cash and now these dipshits are facing multiple charges including armed robbery, possession of a stolen car, commercial burglary and conspiracy.

Which is to say, that wicked $150 haul is nowhere near enough reward for the long term risks to their liberty. But I'm fairly sure they're not bright enough to realize how unutterably stupid they are.

Rule #368 is Petty Crime Carries Not So Petty Time

#367 Do Not Cut Off Your Estranged Husband's Penis and Put It In the Garbage Disposal

Man's penis cut off, put through garbage disposal 

That "lady" to the left there is Catherine Kieu Becker. She's accused of drugging her ex husband, tying him up, then waking him up to cut off his cock and then dropping the severed penis into the garbage disposal. Yes, she made sure he was conscious and suffered as much as possible.

That is, this chick is totally fucking nuts. And in the worst way possible. You've gotta have suffered badly to go to the lengths that she did or she's just crazy. Doesn't matter. I do know that this crazy bitch should never be allowed near knives, men or freedom again. There are things that you just DO NOT DO and cutting off a man's cock is one of them. Putting it in a garbage disposal and running it is another DO NOT DO thing but if you're at the point where the cock is severed and you're figuring out what to do with it then you've already lost.

The man is going to survive his injuries but come on now, his cock was chopped off and shredded in a disposal. He's not ever going to be okay again. 

Rule #367 is Do Not Cut Off Your Estranged Husband's Penis and Put It In the Garbage Disposal