#273 Private Information is Private for a Reason

Enter Your Password

City officials in Bozeman, Montana, seemed to think that city employees should have nothing to hide. On employment applications, they demanded that prospective employees list their user names and passwords to "personal or business websites, web pages or memberships on any Internet-based chat rooms, social clubs or forums, to include, but not limited to: Facebook, Google, Yahoo, YouTube.com, MySpace, etc." After local media reported the demands, the city backed down.

I'd have loved to have been in the meeting where they decided that this was acceptable to try and require.

That and I'd love to have one of those applications to fill out just to point at it and laugh my ass off.

There is, simply no possible rationalization for a prospective employee to be required to supply private access information to online sites.

Rule #273 is Private Information is Private for a Reason

#271 Don't Coddle Scum

Suspected gang member arrested with gun a day after he was sentenced to jail for gang fight in which someone got stabbed and badly beaten.

And this kid was out looking for trouble the day after his sentencing to a slap on the wrist 180 day work furlough.

Gang bangers need to get sent to prison whenever possible and deported if at all possible. Get rid of the scum, clean up the streets and quit coddling these punks because IT ISN'T WORKING.

Rule #271 is Don't Coddle Scum

#270 Remind Your Penis Who's In Charge

SC governor admits affair, secret Argentina trip

Let's recap for those reading this from under a rock. Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina disappeared for seven days. He didn't tell his staff, his wife or his family where he was going. He mentioned he might go hiking so that's what his staff said he was doing. Instead, it turns out this bastion of Republican "family values" had flown to Argentina to screw his mistress.

I hope the sex was beyond awesome because his political life is, effectively, over and entirely deservedly so. His marriage should be over to but that's not for me to decide, if his wife has even a teaspoon of self esteem then they'll rake his skanky ass over the public coals and get a huge settlement out of him.

And, in the end, another powerful man is brought down by his cock and his inability to control it.

Rule #270 is Remind Your Penis Who's In Charge

#269 Remember That Controversial Can Be Code For You're A Douchebag

Pratts Banned From U.S. Network after putting the option to a vote, E! heard loud and clear with 94% of votes saying to never mention either of the two morons on the channel again.

If only it were possible to extend the ban to all media and forget about them forever.

"We really didn't know which way it would go. They're a controversial couple, and we didn't know if people were done with them or not. But we went into it knowing that whatever they decided, we would do. We're prepared to live by the vote.

To which I loudly applaud from my feet. I despise these two insipid egoists and hope they fall down a well and have to eat each other to survive (though I'm pretty sure silicone has little to no nutritional value).

Rule #269 is Remember That Controversial Can Be Code For You're A Douchebag

#268 Don't Be a Hateful Douchebag from your Work Email

Upstate NY school board president ‘regularly’ sends offensive e-mails.

Now, here's the thing, I know there are assholes who think that being racist is some kind of twisted cute or funny or acceptable. I know there are assholes who think that being offensive is humorous. I know that isn't going to change in my lifetime.

But using your professional email to forward hate-based emails to other people is not only offensive, its stupid and could even expose your company or school in this case to lawsuits.

If you truly feel the need to spread hate then you should probably do it from the relative privacy of your personal email and not doing it from work/school computers on their servers.

You could also examine why you are such a complete and utter asshat, Mr. Robert J. Weller, but I'm not holding my breath. The emails aren't funny or appropriate and basically paint you as a big, fat, white racist shitbag, I hope your wife and children are thoroughly ashamed of you and that your colleagues shun you and that you cry yourself to sleep every night now that you've been outed as the scumbag you are. I hope but you've probably surrounded yourself with other racist pricks who think being hateful is funny.

Rule #268 is Don't Be a Hateful Douchebag from your Work Email

#267 Don't Self-Mutilate to Teach Someone a Lesson

Family axes wedding plans, Egyptian cuts off penis.

Who gets taught the lesson here? The parents who are sickened by their son's mutilation of his genitals or the son who now's gone from being a man to being a eunuch? Not to mention how excrutiatingly painful it must have been to slice off your own cock.

What else could he have done? Eloped, moved out of his house, defied his parents. But no, he cut off his own penis. Seems more than a little bit extreme to me.

Rule #267 is Don't Self-Mutilate to Teach Someone a Lesson

#266 Don't Taunt Wild Animals While Drunk and Stoned

Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack for $900,000. Recall that this attack was instigated by the two brothers and their friend while drunk and stoned. The tiger got pissed off enough to jump out of its enclosure, kill one of the three and slash one of the brothers before the cops had to shoot it to death.

And these two brothers get awarded nearly a million bucks for being douchebags?

I'm sure the majority of this settlement will go straight to their lawyers but neither of these two boys deserve a penny for their direct hand in taunting a wild animal and being a direct cause of their friend's death.

If there is any karmic justice in the world then both of them will suffer nightmares for the rest of their pathetic and wasted lives.

Rule #266 is Don't Taunt Wild Animals While Drunk and Stoned

#265 Running From the Police Equals Russian Roulette

Motorcyclist being chased by CHP dies in crash

There are very few good endings to stories about people who run from the cops. You either get chased by a massive contingent of police officers who catch you or you crash and get seriously hurt or killed. It is the rare case when someone runs from the cops and gets away.

In this case, the guy got lit up by the rollers at 2 in the morning, he decided to try and run and ended up eating a fire hydrant at high speed. He died because he chose poorly. Learn from his mistake and don't try to run from the cops. You break the law, you get caught, take your lumps and live to live another day.

Rule #265 is Running From the Police Equals Russian Roulette

#264 In Communist China, Government Smokes You

Officials in China, that bastion of human rights abuses, have decreed that teachers and government works must Smoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette made from locally produced tobacco to boost demand. Failing to comply or, horrors, smoking a rival brand means they will get fined.

Seriously, a state agency is mandating that people ingest poison in order to boost the economy.

Here's the original article.

Any government that thinks they can force its people to smoke, for whatever reason, is seriously out of control, drunk with power and detrimental to humanity as a whole.

Why not turn those tobacco fields into something actually useful for mankind, like food crops? Mandating smoking is like mandating crossing the street with your eyes, its just plain stupid and wrong.

Rule #264 is In Communist China, Government Smokes You

#263 Don't Taser Children, Even with Parental Permission

Walter Schmidt, a former Florida corrections officer seemed to think using a taser on children is okay so long as the parents have given permission to do so. He's since been fired for using a taser on at least two children during a "Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work" event. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Tase Your Daughters At Work Day

Rule #263 is Don't Taser Children, Even with Parental Permission