#388 Quit Being a Hypocrite

Blurred lines much?

Drug Rehab Counselor Arrested for Heroin Possession

Kristin Dempsey, the 33-year-old drug counselor arrested for heroin possession on Wednesday after a search of her home turned up 6.7 grams of the drug along with cash, packaging materials and other things things to sell heroin.

Yep, she was counseling against drug addiction at her job and creating more addicts in her free time. This is akin to the window replacement service getting caught throwing rocks through windows at night.

It seems to me that someone in a position of drug abatement authority like Morticia Kristin should be facing more charges than a typical person off the street charged with the same crime. She's a living conflict of interest.

Also, maybe ask your stylist to not make your eye brows look like little razor blades above your eyes, you look kind of scary.

Rule #388 is Quit Being a Hypocrite

#342 Don't Be A Hypocritical Douchebag

Antiporn Indonesian lawmaker caught viewing porn in Parliament.

The politician, Arifinto (just the one name because he's clearly THAT fucking cool), led the charge in passing some hard core antiporn laws in Indonesia.

And yet he decided to look at porn on his iPad. Not in the comfort of his own hypocritical home, oh no. He decided to look at porn while sitting in Parliament (which is just stupid, how the hell you gonna rub one out there, idiot?).

And, of course, now he's stepped down because he's a ginormous hypocritical asshole. And will, presumably, be unable to legally view said porn as a private citizen since he helped pass the draconian law. Smooth move, Arifinto!

Rule #342 is Don't Be A Hypocritical Douchebag

#333 Don't Jack Off at Kid's Parks (Doubly if You're an Anti-Masturbation Reverend)

Southern Decadence protest leader booked with masturbating at kid's park

The (Dis)Honorable Reverend Grant Storms is an anti-masturbation "crusader" looking to rid the world of evil jackers and jillers who have the audacity to pleasure themselves and waste their precious seed not in the creation of new life but in the pursuit of a little tension release and feeling good.

Here's the thing. Not only is Grant Storms a total hypocrite, he's also a super creepy kid watching public jacker. He could be a pedophile, he could just be an idiot who gets off on jacking it in dangerous places.

Oh and Grant, the I-was-just-peeing-in-this-water-bottle defense is a long shot even if you don't get seen by two women while mid-stroke. Once that has happened, you're pretty well fucked.

And all of this would be kind of a big joke if Grant Storms hadn't made it his life's mission to grief on other people for their sexuality. When he's a public park jacker. He's most well known for griefing the Southern Decadence gay festival in New Orleans' French Quarter. And he's a dude who jacks off in his van near children's parks.

Methinks you just bought yourself a buttboatload of pain, Grant. Enjoy your karmic boomerang sandwich.

Rule #333 is Don't Jack Off at Kid's Parks (Doubly if You're an Anti-Masturbation Reverend)

Rule #64 Don't Vote Down a Safety Measure and Then Prove How Needed It Is

Witness one Carole Midgen, a California State Senator, she voted against a law that would require the use of handsfree cell phones while travelling in a car.

And then she crashed her car while reaching for her ringing cellphone.

Maybe you ought to rethink your position on that particular piece of legislation, Carole.

Rule #64 is Don't Vote Down a No-Brainer Safety Measure and Then Go and Prove Its Value By Crashing