#443 This Is What a Police State Looks Like or Ankle Shackles for Unexcused School Absences?

If I told you that you could be arrested, handcuffed and ankle shackled, and then thrown in jail for your child's unexcused school absences, then you might question what country we're in or what planet we've landed on.

But this is in the USA (the supposed land of the free) in the southern idiot state of Georgia and this really happened. More than once.

The mother, Julie Scott Giles, was forced to turn herself into the police where she was arrested, handcuffed, locked into ankle shackles and jailed over school absences. SCHOOL ABSENCES. Note, this is not a juvenile delinquent kid, according to his mom he gets A's and B's.

Screven County Schools Superintendent William Bland believes it is SOOOO important for kids to be in school (and qualifying his district for federal support money, I'm SURE!) that he is working with the police to FORCE parents to get their kids to school or face jail time.

Yeah, I would be changing districts rapidly but then, I'd never settle down in the idiot south in the first place. From Texas east to Florida is part of the United States that no longer feels like any part of the country I grew up in and love.

I'll note a caveat or two. One, she says 3 unexcused absences but the school says a total of 12, six excused and six unexcused (she says her son forgot to turn in excuses for 3 of the absences). Regardless of the actual numbers, the reality is that there is no reason or rationale that makes it sensible to shackle a mother for her child's school absences.

Rule #443 is This Is What a Police State Looks Like or Ankle Shackles for Unexcused School Absences?

#415 Pay for Your Sandwich, It Is Way Cheaper Than Prison for Attempted Arson

Jail >>> Paying for his food.

People are, by and large, reactive idiots. We're giants chips on tiny shoulders barrelling around looking for something "dumb" enough to knock that chip off. So we can, semi-justifiably through twisted logics, vent our usually impotent rage at a validated target.

Of course, most of this happens below the level of conscious thought. Witness 57 year old Ronald Zirino, a regular at Anita Gourmet Food & Company in Wellington, Florida where he also helped with machine maintenance. He apparently didn't want to pay for his sub, an argument ensued and he said he would "pray for bad things" to happen to the owner.

Which is a jerk thing to do on the face of it, only he went a step or two beyond praying. He went ahead and blew out the pilot lights on her propane stoves while leaving the gas flowing. That is, he tried to turn the restaurant into a firebomb. Because he didn't want to pay for his sandwich. And now he's facing multiple counts including attempted arson, fire bomb, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief.

Because he didn't want to pay for his sandwich.

Lucky he wasn't packing a gun at the time because he could have shot the owner dead and then said he felt threatened by her insistence that he pay for the food he intended to consume. Have I mentioned how truly insane Stand Your Ground laws are and that I'm not willing to set foot in any state that has that law on the books?

Rule #415 is Pay for Your Sandwich, It Is Way Cheaper Than Prison for Attempted Arson

#386 Don't Sunbathe on a Road

2 Teens Hit By Car While Sunbathing on a rural road, that's kind of key here. They decided to sunbathe on a road. Where cars drive. I'm sure the road isn't well travelled or they'd have never been able to fall asleep. But still, it's a road. Where cars drive and animals running across it get hit by said cars and killed.

Samantha Schermanhorn and Kaylie George, both 13 and both, apparently, not possessed of some pretty basic self-preservation skills, laid down on the warm road and both fell asleep. Until a 19 year old driver turned on the street and somehow did not see the two sleeping people on the road and ran over them.

The girls were helicopted out to hospitals but appear to be likely to survive. My guess is that they will not be laying down on any roads anytime soon. And if they do, their parents should smack them upside the head.

Rule #386 is Don't Sunbathe on a Road

#385 Don't Wear These Stupid "Pants"

In the ever expanding scope of things to NOT do, here's a fashion don't.

Don't wear these ridiculous looking super high waisted pants. They're ugly and you will be laughed at everywhere you go.

You'd have to be high as hell to even think about them. And you'd have to have a whole crapload more money than sense because these ugly things are discounted to a still crazy over-priced for looking like a moron, $1046.50.

Yeah, the designers want you to pay one thousand dollars to look like you're trying to give yourself an epic wedgie. Good luck with that.

About the only positive thing that I could think of to say about these is that you can go topless and not be indecent though you'll still look like an idiot.

Rule #385 is Don't Wear These Stupid "Pants"

#355 The Internet Isn't Really Anonymous, Dumbass

NY fugitive taunts police on Facebook to catch him

Nice work, Victor Burgos, you thought you'd rub it in to the cops that they couldn't catch you because you're such a master criminal (who beats up and harasses women). So you went on Facebook and taunted them and then they showed up to arrest your dumb, dumb ass.

One less idiot criminal mastermind on the streets. Thank goodness he was kind enough to post enough about his crimes to make it easier to catch him, prosecute him and send his dumbass away.

Rule #355 is The Internet Isn't Really Anonymous, Dumbass

#349 Don't Shave Your Vajanay While Driving

Megan Barnes Driving While Shaving! Fla. Woman Arrested After Crash, Grooming "Bikini Area" Say Cops
Okay, let me clue you in, Megan Barnes. You're not very pretty and driving recklessly while shaving your vagina and having your ex husband steer for you is a clear indication that you're some kind of stupid too. You couldn't have, you know, pulled over and let him drive so could shave? Or, here's a crazy thought, you could have shaved at home in the privacy of your own bathroom.

But then, since you had no license and got a DUI the day before, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably not the sharpest knife in the drawer. You're certainly not the prettiest.

And if your face makes your date run away then why are you wasting time trimming up your vajanay?

Rule #349 is Don't Shave Your Vajanay While Driving

#331 Keep Your Shirt on Congressman

Chris Lee's Speedy Exit Differs from Previous Sex Scandals

So the whole world is enjoying a chuckle at Christopher Lee's expense in the wake of his sudden resignation for emailing a photo of himself without his shirt on to some "chick" he met on Craigslist. As sex scandals go, this one is more pre-sex scandal than real scandal although I'd bet his wife would not be interested in parsing the degree of his infidelity. Or maybe she would, I don't know.

#329 Do NOT Party On

Not the Father of the Year

Parents' day at the beach involved a lot of beer: "James Arthur Lee, 54, and his wife, Wendy Maureen Lee, 47, went on a bender Jan. 22 after bringing their children, ages 2 through 8, to the beach at Half Moon Bay, said San Mateo County District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe."

The article goes on to say that James Arthur Lee was driving with a whopping .25% BAC, more than three times the legal limit which means he was completely tossed. His wife blew a .24%. These two idiots stopped twice on the way home to drink more beer too while their four kids sat in the back and were deeply ashamed and probably scared of the spectacle of their drunk parents.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say that your life is over when you have kids. It is actually just beginning in many ways but your hard partying, drunk driving and acting like a teenaged moron should be behind you by the time you get to 50 at the very least. I feel bad for these kids who have had to be removed from their parent's "care" while each of them serves jail time for their ridiculous stupidity.

There comes a time when you sack up, sober up and realize that there are more important things in your life than getting drunk, like keeping your kids safe and trying to drive on the roads when you're literally shitfaced.

Or, if you must get fall down stupid ass drunk then have the forethought to not do it front of your kids and, absolutely for damned sure, don't get behind the wheel. This story could have easily ended with all six of them dead, I wonder if that reality has settled in on James Arther Lee yet. He's lucky he didn't kill his entire family and merely got arrested.

Rule #329 is Do NOT Party On

#316 Remember Who The Rescue is For

Raft guide arrested after helping stranded rafter on Clear Creek because he obstructed the official rescue operations even though he was the one who called in the emergency.

This story smacks of a cop or cops with ego issues feeling like their moment to shine was stolen from them so they are behaving like petulant children. The rescue isn't about getting your picture in the paper, its about saving someone who's life is actually in real danger.

Getting into a pissing match about who is in charge totally overlooks the basic fact that a rescue's absolute first priority is, uhh, rescuing the endangered person(s).

I hope the charges against the river guide are dropped and that he is commended for acting to save the stranded rafter. Also that the Clear Creek sheriff's deputies get a stern talking to about the reason they do their job (hint, it ain't about getting your picture in the paper).

File this one under Egotistical Obstructions.

Rule #316 is Remember Who The Rescue is For

#303 Don't Treat 6 Year Olds Like Adults

Ionia kindergartner suspended for making gun with hand and, horror of horrors, he had a history of doing it.

Okay, I am the parent of a nearly 6 year old kid and I can barely get him to pay attention and follow my instructions when there is food or a toy or something he actually wants on the line. Expecting a small child to jump in the line is really, really stupid.

A child that young cannot and should not be treated like an adult who understands consequences clearly (and heck, read other posts here and you'll quickly see that many full on adults have no clue about consequences).

His mother is, rightfully, bewildered that the school would suspend her child for a very minor behavioral problem. My guess is the kindergarten teacher is all but worthless in guiding her charges towards better behavior.

I mean, really, you are going to suspend a child for making a gun shape with his fingers? On what grounds? There is simply no way a pointed finger could possibly be construed as a weapon. The school over-reacted badly to a simple problem and now they look like idiots, which they are.

Rule #303 is Don't Treat 6 Year Olds Like Adults

#291 Do Not Let Your Horniness Overwhelm Your Common Sense

Selby optician John Gill found guilty of sex charges in the presence of a minor.

Which is to say, dude was playing with his cock while checking a teenaged girl's eyes. Which is further to say that dude is a horny moron (a hornon?) because the risk/reward calculation here is far, far skewed towards the "Not worth it" side.

There's a line that his common sense should have told him was just not worth crossing. You want to jack off? Fine. You want to jack off while you have a client in the chair? Not so fine.

Enjoy your stay in prison for lewd acts, Mr. Gill.

Rule #291 is Do Not Let Your Horniness Overwhelm Your Common Sense

#280 Just Fix It and Don't Make Such a Fuss

Reddit, Sears, Grills That Cook Babies... And The Streisand Effect

Okay, so there was some munged up code on a Sears web page. It read Human Cooking -> Grills to Cook Babies and More -> Body Part Roaster.

Which is kind of funny, kind of sick but mostly harmless. When the story was posted on Reddit, Sears exerted great pressure and forced Reddit to remove the thread. The removal caused a massive uproar and, rather than just fixing the exploit and moving on, Sears has opened a great big can of Stupid on themselves.

Learn from other's mistakes, Sears. This could have easily been avoided if you'd just dealt with it.

Rule #280 is Just Fix It and Don't Make Such a Fuss

#273 Private Information is Private for a Reason

Enter Your Password

City officials in Bozeman, Montana, seemed to think that city employees should have nothing to hide. On employment applications, they demanded that prospective employees list their user names and passwords to "personal or business websites, web pages or memberships on any Internet-based chat rooms, social clubs or forums, to include, but not limited to: Facebook, Google, Yahoo, YouTube.com, MySpace, etc." After local media reported the demands, the city backed down.

I'd have loved to have been in the meeting where they decided that this was acceptable to try and require.

That and I'd love to have one of those applications to fill out just to point at it and laugh my ass off.

There is, simply no possible rationalization for a prospective employee to be required to supply private access information to online sites.

Rule #273 is Private Information is Private for a Reason

#268 Don't Be a Hateful Douchebag from your Work Email

Upstate NY school board president ‘regularly’ sends offensive e-mails.

Now, here's the thing, I know there are assholes who think that being racist is some kind of twisted cute or funny or acceptable. I know there are assholes who think that being offensive is humorous. I know that isn't going to change in my lifetime.

But using your professional email to forward hate-based emails to other people is not only offensive, its stupid and could even expose your company or school in this case to lawsuits.

If you truly feel the need to spread hate then you should probably do it from the relative privacy of your personal email and not doing it from work/school computers on their servers.

You could also examine why you are such a complete and utter asshat, Mr. Robert J. Weller, but I'm not holding my breath. The emails aren't funny or appropriate and basically paint you as a big, fat, white racist shitbag, I hope your wife and children are thoroughly ashamed of you and that your colleagues shun you and that you cry yourself to sleep every night now that you've been outed as the scumbag you are. I hope but you've probably surrounded yourself with other racist pricks who think being hateful is funny.

Rule #268 is Don't Be a Hateful Douchebag from your Work Email

#258 Let Go of Your Rage

Driver's Ed -

Joshua Shawn Beaver says two boys riding a school bus "flipped him off," so he followed the bus to East Bank Middle School in Charleston, West Virginia. He asked the bus driver if he could come on board and identify the boy. The bus driver let him on, and Beaver allegedly "smacked" a 14-year-old boy. Beaver has been charged with felony assault of a child near a school. School officials said the driver should not have let Beaver on the bus.

So, rather than just letting it slide, Joshua Shawn Beaver is very likely going to spend some time in prison for assaulting a kid with added time because it was near a school. I'm sure he thought he was going to teach that kid a lesson about giving him the finger or something but, in reality, the lesson will be given to Joshua Shawn Beaver in the form of jail time for being a dumbass.

Rule #258 is Let Go of Your Rage

#250 Demanding Proof of a Ridiculous Overcharge is, of itself, Ridiculous

Paypal Charges $81 Billion To Fill Your Gas Tank... Demands Proof It Didn't Cost That Much

The guy spent $26 to fill his tank, PayPal then charged him $81 billion and then demanded he prove that it was a mistake.

Let's take this slow.

How much is $81 billion in gas? At $2.25 a gallon, that's around 36 billion gallons of gas. Which is to say, that's about 2.4 billion times larger than the average gas tank.

And the jackasses at PayPal tried to argue with him about the charge? Do they smoke crack at PayPal? Or are they just incredibly, incredibly stupid?

Rule #250 is Demanding Proof of a Ridiculous Overcharge is, of itself, Ridiculous

#248 Zero Tolerance Shouldn't Be Zero-Intelligence

Devon Smith, 14, has been suspended from Northland High School in Columbus, Ohio, and could be expelled. Smith shot a foam Nerf dart at a friend, and school officials say that violated the school's zero-tolerance policy on weapons.

I understand that rules are rules and you have to enforce them but this is beyond stupid and borders on ridiculous.

Next thing we'll hear about a kid getting suspended for making a gun shape with his fingers and pointing it at another kid.

People need to interpret the rules through the lens of intelligence. A nerf foam dart poses zero threat and a nerf gun is not a weapon. Weapons can cause damage. Stupid school officials look like idiots.

Rule #248 is Zero Tolerance Shouldn't Be Zero-Intelligence

#240 Don't Assault Someone Over a Public Bench

Punch thrown over downtown bench because the three people sitting there refused to move so that Jeremy Davis, a transient, could sit there and panhandle.

Dude, you're a bum and have no more or less right to that bench than anyone else. And you for damned sure didn't have any right to assault someone for not capitulating to your ridiculous demands.

Also, maybe you should dry out a bit and re-evaluate where your life is headed if you are living on the streets at the age of 29.

Rule #240 is Don't Assault Someone Over a Public Bench

#231 Cheap Thrills Can Be Really Costly

Ex-Millbrae schoolteacher who filmed in girls bathroom gets 2 years. In addition to being an extremely stupid teacher, he's also a meth-head with really stupid looking sideburns.

As a result of David Lista's indulgence of his particular brand of sexual idiocy, he gets to spend two years in prison. I'm sure he will have a spectacularly awful time.

Rule #231 is Cheap Thrills Can Be Really Costly

#171 Don't Try to Rob the Cops

Police: Teen accused of trying to rob undercover officers by reaching into their unmarked police car and grabbing one of the cops.

Michael Garcia is going to get a chance to grow up some while he cools his heels in the pokey.

I wonder if the judge will be harsher on him than normal just because of his incredible stupidity?

Rule #171 is Don't Try to Rob the Cops