#390 Don't Plant Drugs on School Volunteers You Don't Like

Parents planted drugs on elementary school volunteer they were unhappy with, police say

These two poster children for bad parenting (who also both happen to be lawyers for the bonus win) didn't like how a volunteer was supervising their son. So they decided the best course of action was to plant drugs in her car and try to get her arrested.

No really. They thought this was a good idea. Good enough to act on which they did and then try to get her busted but, because Jill and Kent Easter are fucking morons, the back story didn't work out and they were identified as suspects.

Which is to say, I think they now have some substantially more pressing issues to address than a volunteer supervising their kid, like defending themselves and trying to keep their stupid asses out of jail and their child out of the foster care system. Nice mugshot too, Jill!

 Rule #390 is Don't Plant Drugs on School Volunteers You Don't Like

#354 Don't Cheer Your Daughter On in a Gang Fight

Mother of the Year!

Cops and Courts, Sept. 19, 2011: Mom cheered on daughter in gang fight, police say

Maribel Ibarra Rivas is today's winner of the How To Be a Terrible Parent Award! Her prize is going to be some jail time, hopefully the loss of her children and a powerful whack upside the head with some common sense.

This mother is 41 years old but was there to cheer her daughter on in a gang fight while yelling gang slogans. She is then seen pulling her daughter off the other girl as if she's a concerned parent or something.

I hope getting arrested and outed for being an atrociously terrible parent, spending the weekend in jail on $25,000 bail and, hopefully, doing some jail time for inciting gang violence was worth it, Maribel.

And please, please, please, no more children for you. You've already demonstrated an appalling lack of ability to care for the one's have already made.

Rule #354 is Don't Cheer Your Daughter On in a Gang Fight

Update: The mom of the year candidate is now facing deportation.

2nd Update: She has avoided deportation but this fine parent did get a 120 day vacation courtesy of the county. I find it rather curious that her family and friends quoted say that she is anti-gang and tells her kids to stay clear of them. And yet she shouted gang names during the fight? Methinks they also think her poo smells like flowers too.

#346 Don't Inject Your 8 Year Old with Botox, DUH!

Mom who injects daughter with Botox under investigation

Kerry Campbell is fairly new to San Francisco and is a beautician with a child. Nothing too shocking there, my wife is a beautician with two kids.

Only somewhere along the way, Kerry decided to start preparing her daughter for her absolutely assured super star future by injecting her with Botox now to preserve her youthful looks forever.

Or some other twisted rationalization she came up with for foisting all of her hopes and dreams on her daughter since its quite apparent that opportunity has passed Kerry Campbell by and she's on Plan B now.

Update: Her daughter has been removed from her custody while an investigation takes place.
Update II: Her name isn't really Kerry and she doesn't really live in San Francisco. So she's a loony, nutter fraud too in addition to being an atrocious parent who bragged on Good Morning America about injecting her daughter in the face with nerve killing "beauty" poison. Yeah.

Rule #346 is Don't Inject Your 8 Year Old with Botox, DUH!

#320 Sigh, Don't Throw Your Child Into Traffic

Man hurls toddler into traffic.

...saw a man later identified as John Taylor Jr., 21, yelling in the middle of Fifth Avenue near East 15th Street around 5:40 p.m. Saturday.

Taylor then picked up a toddler on the sidewalk, shook her violently and then hurled her into traffic, where she was run over by a vehicle, police said.

There's really not much more to say here, John Taylor Jr., has anger issues and dealt with them in close to the worst way possible. It is my fervent wish that John Taylor Jr. never ever be allowed near his child or anyone else's children ever again. Or just lock this loser up forever and be done with it.

And when he was confronted by an off-duty cop, he started to fight with him and kept fighting when regular cops showed up. Seems like a wonderful human being.

I know the hardest thing to do when you are furious is to take a step back, breathe a little bit and try to regain one's perspective. But if he'd done that then his daughter wouldn't have been taken from him, he wouldn't have gotten beaten up by the cops and he wouldn't be facing some pretty serious charges (resisting arrest, battery on a police officer and child endangerment).

Rule #320 is Sigh, Don't Throw Your Child Into Traffic

#317 Do Not Try to Sell Your Child So You Can Buy More Meth

Salinas couple tried to sell baby at Walmart for $25

Welcome to the spotlight of meth-fueled stupidity, Patrick Fousek and Samantha Tomasini. Your addiction to getting high has now put you at the forefront of drug addled idiocy. Patrick tried to sell his six month old child outside a Walmart in Salinas for the pathetic sum of $25. Which goes to show how much he valued his own flesh and blood, that is, not anywhere near as much as getting high for a little bit longer.

And that is just deeply, deeply sad and pathetic.

Meth is a helluva drug. A hell of an awful nightmarish descent into a bleak universe of stoniness and stupidity. I used to be scared of stuff like coke and crack but they seem pretty tame compared to the grip that meth gets on its users. Meth reaches deep inside an addict's body and right down into the soul where it wrenches and tears that soul to shreds and makes a person rationalize the irrational and attempt to undertake the unthinkable.

And, I'm not sure but I think this will completely disqualify Samantha Tomasini for the Mother of the Year voting. 

Rule #317 is Do Not Try to Sell Your Child So You Can Buy More Meth

#295 Don't Leave Your Meth on the Floor

Police report: 15-month-old boy taken to hospital, tests positive for meth

Look, I'm not going to judge, actually yes I am but in a minute. I get that you were a drug addict first and a mom second. I get that you care more about getting stoned then caring for your child. But look at it this way, that meth that you left on the floor and your baby ate? You can't smoke or ingest that meth now, you just wasted it. Oh and nearly killed your child but that's somewhat beside the point, isn't it?

This kid is lucky to be alive but unlucky to have drug addicts for parents.

Rule #295 is Don't Leave Your Meth on the Floor

#294 Do Not Hide Loaded Guns Around Your House

Colo. boy shot with gun hidden by Christmas tree. His parents left for the day leaving their kid to find a hidden .22 so he could accidentally shoot himself in the leg.

How these moron parents aren't being brought up on child endangerment charges is beyond me.

Rule #294 is Do Not Hide Loaded Guns Around Your House (Especially if you have kids)

#288 Don't Beat Lessons Into Kids

Dad guilty of abusing son who stole juice box by forcing him to drink so many juice boxes that he puked and then got out his belt and beat the kid, who by the way, is mentally disabled, on his back and butt.

This is beyond ridiculous and borders on the psychotic. The boy didn't learn anything except to be afraid of his father and his temper.

Just awful and very, very sad.

Rule #288 is Don't Beat Lessons Into Kids

Rule #5 Don't Get Your Baby Stoned

And Rule #5a is Don't Let Someone Take Photos of You Getting Your Baby Stoned

Mom properly jailed for letting baby smoke dope-court in which the mother not only helped her 18 month old daughter to smoke pot from her bong, she allowed someone to take pictures of her baby doing it.

The first is reprehensibly bad parenting, the second is just incredibly stupid parenting.

Avoid both of these activities as What Not To Do.