#407 Do Not Fire People for Seeking Shelter from a Wildfire

What kind of an asshole employer fires workers for seeking shelter from falling ash and smoke from a nearby (and potentially directly dangerous) wildfire? Why, that would be the good assholes at Crisalida Farms in Camarillo Springs.

Strawberry pickers fired for leaving in wildfire

I don't know about you but if my life is in danger and I'm inhaling ash, picking some goddamned strawberries can wait.

Remember that name, Crisalida Farms. And if you're about to buy some strawberries, make sure they aren't from that asshole farm run by assholes.

I hope the authorities are getting all up in their business as a result of this abuse of power. I hope their records are combed through and I hope they face massive fines for trying to force people to work in hazardous conditions or lose their job.

Rule #407 is Do Not Fire People for Seeking Shelter from a Wildfire

Update: From the comment thread on G+ via Richard
"Crisalida Farms is owned by Sundance Berry Farms which is headquartered just off of Airport Blvd in Watsonville. Sundance Berry Farms is owned by David P Murray, Ernie Farley, and Alan Thorne of Watsonville. Murray's office number is (831) 763-4633 according to the California Secretary of State."

#392 Try Not To Be This Guy

Upset over lost Mensa application? No.

Boyfriend Goes Into Jealous Rage Over Mitt Romney

Lowell Turpin didn't recognize the man on his girlfriend's Facebook page so he did what any man would do and confronted and then punched his girlfriend in the face.

The man in the photo? It was Mitt Romney. Yeah, the asshat vulture capitalist robot trying to buy the White House with his massive corporate "donors".

Now, some might say he did the right thing because Mitt Romney is no friend to the lower class (I'm making an assumption here) and her support of him and his failed policies of giving more money to the rich in the hopes that some of that money will trickle down to the middle class and poor is a decidedly shitty economic philosophy.

But I'm guessing Lowell's economic philosophy is more like checking his pockets to see if he can afford more fried chicken.

Regardless, punching your girlfriend in the face because of a photo (whoever it may be) on her Facebook page (I'm impressed he can work a mouse really) is ridiculous and now, Lowell, you look like an even bigger moron who can't close his mouth because he's too fat than you did before.

And no, they don't have drive thru in prison, sorry.

Rule #392 Try Not To Be This Guy

#320 Sigh, Don't Throw Your Child Into Traffic

Man hurls toddler into traffic.

...saw a man later identified as John Taylor Jr., 21, yelling in the middle of Fifth Avenue near East 15th Street around 5:40 p.m. Saturday.

Taylor then picked up a toddler on the sidewalk, shook her violently and then hurled her into traffic, where she was run over by a vehicle, police said.

There's really not much more to say here, John Taylor Jr., has anger issues and dealt with them in close to the worst way possible. It is my fervent wish that John Taylor Jr. never ever be allowed near his child or anyone else's children ever again. Or just lock this loser up forever and be done with it.

And when he was confronted by an off-duty cop, he started to fight with him and kept fighting when regular cops showed up. Seems like a wonderful human being.

I know the hardest thing to do when you are furious is to take a step back, breathe a little bit and try to regain one's perspective. But if he'd done that then his daughter wouldn't have been taken from him, he wouldn't have gotten beaten up by the cops and he wouldn't be facing some pretty serious charges (resisting arrest, battery on a police officer and child endangerment).

Rule #320 is Sigh, Don't Throw Your Child Into Traffic

#286 Don't Coddle Thugs

Teenager jailed after attacking 15-year-old boys and filming "torture" video on his mobile

Ricardo Poli is a thug and a punk. He picked on younger boys, he abused them, he filmed it for his viewing pleasure after the fact and already has a record of similar behavior. He's also been busted toting a sawed off shotgun which is utterly useless except for killing people.

He's 18 now, time to send this piece of shit to prison for the next 15 or 20 years.

Rule #286 is Don't Coddle Thugs

#241 Do Not Milk Your Developmentally Disabled Sister

Sister lived in shed, siblings stole her checks for years and the outrage here is that they face a mere six months in jail. They abused their sister by forcing her to live in an uninsulated shed in the back yard, stole her benefit checks and they face a pathetic and completely too short six months.

These two bags of shit should be facing ten to twenty years in prison.

Rule #241 is Do Not Milk Your Developmentally Disabled Sister

#167 Don't Imprison Your Own Daughter and Father 7 Kids With Her

Austrian admits 24-year abuse of daughter in dungeon including impregnating her at least seven times and making a bunch of in-bred children, some of whom he locked up in the dungeon with her. Which is to say, her "father" should be slowly lowered into a vat of acid until nothing's left but his screaming in agony head.

That someone would do this to another person is grotesque, that he did this to his own flesh and blood is beyond the pale.

Truly a horrible and disgusting person. He doesn't deserve a single further breath after his lifetime of physical and sexual abuse.

I don't pretend to know or care what makes someone do something like this. I'm sure he's got mental problems and other issues but that doesn't mean very much. He's a scum who imprisoned his own daughter to be used as his sex toy and that is really so deeply wrong that words can't even convey the full extent of my disgust.

Rule #167 is Don't Imprison Your Own Daughter and Father 7 Kids With Her

Rule #65 Do Not Abuse Your Position of Power for Pooty

Trooper Suspended Over Porn Star Claims

The porn star got pulled over by James Randy Moss, a Tennessee State Trooper, for speeding, copped to some pills and then worked off her drug charge by blowing the cop in a secluded area.

Only problem is, she claims to have video and photos of the act.

Oops.

Nice work, James. Can't say as I blame you since Justis Richert, the porn star (stage name Barbie Cummings) is pretty shockingly cute. But still, dude. Do not abuse your position of power and most especially not on tape, dumbass.

Rule #65 is Do Not Abuse Your Position of Power for Pooty, That Goes Double for Doing on Tape

[Update: James Randy Moss has been canned. Also, an anonymous commenter left a link to a blog with more stuff about Barbie...I mean Justis. Hate to say it but she's cutest in the photo I've already seen, the rest of the photos don't do too much for me.]

Rule #29 Do NOT Use a Stun Gun on Your Baby!

Dad Accused of Using Stun Gun on Baby

Rian Whittman, you are today's asshole parent of the day, for using a 100,000 volt stun gun on your 18 month old baby boy.

My street punishment for your abuse is to dunk you in a tub of water and then apply your stun gun to your nuts until you die.

Rule #29 is You Do NOT Use a Stun Gun on a Baby or wife or kids or dogs or anyone, except maybe yourself.