5.26.2010

#308 Do Not Use Puke As a Weapon

NJ man admits to vomit assault at Phillies game: "Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., pleaded guilty to one count each of simple assault, disorderly conduct and harassment for his conduct during an April 14 Phillies-Nationals game at Citizens Bank Park.

Clemmens stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on Michael Vangelo, an off-duty Easton police captain, and one of Vangelo’s daughters after Clemmens’ companion was ejected from the park, Assistant District Attorney Patrick Doyle said."

Um yeah, here's the thing, Matthew. Regardless of the fact that you puked on a cop and his children, you should have known better. Or your parents should have raised you better. My guess is that the many people around you showed surprising restraint in subduing you after you took way beyond the pale with your puke attack.

The only thing that could top this disgusting episode is the next dumb, drunk fool thinking "I'm gonna get back at them by throwing some of my poop on them! That'll teach them for wanting to watch the baseball game rather than pay attention my drunken shouts." And no, I'm not looking forward to that day at all.

Rule #308 is Do Not Use Puke As a Weapon

No comments: