#408 Just Because It Has a Penis Sized Hole...

...doesn't mean you should try to fuck it.

Man Dies After Having Sex with Hornet's Nest

Call me for sexy times! 1 888 STINGER

A man only known as Hasse was found naked, unconscious and swollen to the point his neighbor first though he was a beached whale on his front yard. He had, apparently been putting the sexy times to a hornet's nest.

Among the many things I would not wish to expose my penis to, angry flying insects like hornets, wasps and other winged hate is very high on that list.

Notably, Hasse did end up going out like a boss despite his idiotic means. He not only set out to fuck a hornet's nest, he did fuck a hornet's nest and actually came. Yes. And then the hornet's went insane on his please-do-not-have-reproduced ass and penis and body. He was stung 54 times in the genitals alone.

Let that sink in for a moment. One sting in the balls is all but unthinkable. Two would probably require counseling. Three would almost certainly make the Hulk cry for mercy. Hasse took 54 hornet stings to the goonies. One hundred and forty six stings in total resulting in massive anaphylactic shock, death and instant internet immortality.

And deservedly so. I think this should give rise to a new cautionary phrase, "Nobody fucks a hornet's nest and lives to tell about it."

I would hereby like to nominate Hasse to the Darwin Awards Hall of Fame.

Rule #408 is Just Because It Has a Penis Sized Hole...

Update: Unfortunately (or fortunately for my faith in humanity) the story is not true as I could have deduced easily by reading the linked article more carefully. I'm glad that no man is dumb enough or drunk enough to look at a hornet's nest and get horny.

But the general rule still applies, just because something has a penis size hole in it doesn't mean you should shove your penis into it.