3.04.2011

#333 Don't Jack Off at Kid's Parks (Doubly if You're an Anti-Masturbation Reverend)

Southern Decadence protest leader booked with masturbating at kid's park

The (Dis)Honorable Reverend Grant Storms is an anti-masturbation "crusader" looking to rid the world of evil jackers and jillers who have the audacity to pleasure themselves and waste their precious seed not in the creation of new life but in the pursuit of a little tension release and feeling good.

Here's the thing. Not only is Grant Storms a total hypocrite, he's also a super creepy kid watching public jacker. He could be a pedophile, he could just be an idiot who gets off on jacking it in dangerous places.

Oh and Grant, the I-was-just-peeing-in-this-water-bottle defense is a long shot even if you don't get seen by two women while mid-stroke. Once that has happened, you're pretty well fucked.

And all of this would be kind of a big joke if Grant Storms hadn't made it his life's mission to grief on other people for their sexuality. When he's a public park jacker. He's most well known for griefing the Southern Decadence gay festival in New Orleans' French Quarter. And he's a dude who jacks off in his van near children's parks.

Methinks you just bought yourself a buttboatload of pain, Grant. Enjoy your karmic boomerang sandwich.

Rule #333 is Don't Jack Off at Kid's Parks (Doubly if You're an Anti-Masturbation Reverend)

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