#431 Your Back Pocket is a Dumb Place for Your Phone

Tennessee man arrested for drugs after butt dialing 911 while on his way to go buy some pot. Let's set aside the stupidity of marijuana being illegal in the first place while tobacco and alcohol are not (because that's just stupid). I simply cannot understand the mentality that enables someone to take their smartphone (a glass enclosed brick of expensive and reasonably delicate electronics) and shoves it in their back pocket. And then further goes and sits on said phone.

The fact that his ass dialed 911 and got him arrested is a good thing since Grant O'Connor ain't the smartest knife in the drawer.

But I tend to think anyone carrying their expensive smartphone in their back pocket is a bit of a moron.

Rule #431 is Your Back Pocket is a Dumb Place for Your Phone

#420 Assault With a Marijuana Plant is Just Silly

Yep, that's a weed assaulter's smirk.

Deputies say Lakeland man attacked his brother with marijuana plants

Among all of the superheroes I know of in the world today, Florida Man is the most bizarre. Florida Man does all kinds of crazy shit and I'm not quite sure how it relates to fighting crime but one thing I do know is that there is no stopping Florida Man!

Two brothers were arguing in their yard, it got physical and Rodney grabbed the nearest thing he could and used it to beat his brother. Nearest thing he could lay hands on? Pot plants. He yanked them up and used them to hit his brother.

I'm guessing his pillow was too far away.

Of course, when the cops came, they realized what idiots these guys are, searched the house and found drug paraphernalia and hauled Rodney off to the pokey for an overnight and more.

Here's a thought, if you don't live in a state where growing marijuana is legal then maybe consider not drawing attention to your cultivation, eh?

Rule #420 is Assault With a Marijuana Plant is Just Silly

#398 Don't Check On Your Fed-Exed Drug Packages

Peninsula Man Tries to Mail Meth, Cocaine to Philippines A good rule of thumb if you're going to try and mail illegal drugs across international borders or even across town, send the package and then forget all about it. You're sending illegal materials, you poor, dumb sap.

On Aug. 24, Gabriel Uribe-Bautista, 37, of Redwood City, dropped off two packages containing the illegal drugs at a FedEx store in Redwood City. ... Authorities then knew they had their man when Bautista called to find out why his packages had not yet arrived at their destination in the Philippines. He was promptly arrested on Sept. 12.

You might as well have left your business card in the package. Oh wait, you're unlikely to have a business card but hey, who knows, you probably do have business cards that say Drug Dealer under your name. Rule #398 is Don't Check On Your Fed-Exed Drug Packages

#102 Do Not Solicit Sex from a Job Candidate

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